Downward Dog

i'm dirty, unhealthy, exhausted and laughing at myself. i thought i might make it through india without being brought to my edge, without having true "india meltdown". but combine 2 days of fighting with an indian family and 3 days of lying in bed sick as anything with india, hardly getting up at all and you pretty much hate india. you reach your limit, your threshold. if you had any energy, you might scream at the top of your lungs at the passing rickshaw with the ridiculous horn, the guy yelling papaya papaya papaya (i always did hate papaya) how mad and awful their country is.

but then wait a few days, when you can make it outside. the sun is shining, the rickshaw driver is beeping, the guy is crying out papaya and suddenly you love it, its charm is back in glorious form. you give in and you give in. and then you give in a little more. and then give in to whatever is left. theres nothing you can do. no defence. no facade. it teaches you a lot about what you cling to, what makes you secure. as you watch it piece by piece be stripped away.

inhale vishnu

exhale shiva